My Children Are NOT My Life – and That’s OK!

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Moms, the time for feeling guilty for any moment we chose to spend on ourselves is OVER.

Society would have us to believe that our only value is our motherhood.

Remember who you were before you became a mother? A woman. A girl before that. You had hopes and dreams and desires. Even if you have dreamt about raising children since you were one yourself, it doesn’t mean that you have lost you. It’s called self-care. I came to this conclusion a few years ago (Don’t worry, I have teenagers and my “baby” is 10) that my children are NOT my life.

Please before you grab the pitchforks, hear me out!

Motherhood is hard work. Relationships, marriage, adulthood in general, is all REALLY hard. Generally speaking, most women sacrifice A LOT in motherhood. Believe me, I paid my dues. I spent years slaving away as a working mom who ALSO was President of the PTA, Girl Scout Troup leader, etc. I planned the elaborate parties (still do) and went overboard on holidays and vacations.

We have given our children an amazing life! But I decided a few years ago that in order to find my sanity and be able to continue to parent my children, I needed to get a LIFE. A life of my OWN. So that is what I did and have been doing. And you know what?

It has taken a few years to overcome the MOM GUILT but I did it

My children may be the MOST important thing in MY LIFE, but they are NOT my life and that is the best thing for us. I am a woman with a broad array of interests and passions. That doesn’t make me unique, but I NEED to have friendship in my life. I need girl talk and going out to shows and dancing. I have learned that these are all things important to my self-care and YOU should Never feel guilty about self-care!

So please, remember that there is a woman inside of you!

One day those kids will grow up and no matter how much they love you, they will have a life of their own. Of course they want to spend time with you, but they don’t NEED your every waking moment of attention. They will survive, I promise! You will be teaching them valuable lessons about independence, happiness, boundaries, and relationships. So please, forget about the guilt and go spend sometime fostering your interests (even if its only in the bathtub or binge watching a show other than PAW Patrol!)

You WILL Thank me later! 

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Krystal is a fulltime working Mother of 3. Surrogate to an adorable set of Swiss boy/girl twins. She spends her days as a Residential Service Coordinator at PATH Connections Housing helping support some of San Diego's most vulnerable to maintain permanent housing. When she isn't teaching classes to the residents, sharing her passion of using the Arts to practice self care, she is writing her own personal blog and sharing her other passions with the world! Theatre fills her heart and she is currently working on an original play. A lover of essential oils and sharing the benefits with anyone who will listen! An avid Crafter, she enjoys creating her own crochet designs, wreaths and dabbles in painting. Loves spending time with her children and her husband, playing, dancing, swimming, traveling and enjoying our beautiful city. Follow her personal blog at www.rekindledthefire.com or Crochet shop at www.facebook.com/mylittlesunshinescreativecrochet

2 COMMENTS

  1. “My children may be the MOST important thing in MY LIFE, , but they are NOT my life” So hard to remember this when you are deep in it! Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom!

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