Lesson Learned: Never Go To Bed Angry


The age-old marriage advice of never going to bed angry is one, I have to admit, I have never followed. I’ve gone to bed angry more times than I can count. Sometimes I wasn’t willing to let something go. Sometimes we just couldn’t come to an understanding. Sometimes I just didn’t want to deal with it. What I didn’t understand was that I could let go of the anger, kiss my husband goodnight and remind him that I love him, and the fight could end later. The two don’t have to coincide.

A friend of mine recently lost her husband unexpectedly in the middle of the night. It woke something inside me that I haven’t been able to let go of since. What if they’d been in an argument before going to bed? What if she or he or they’d both gone to bed angry? Taking for granted, as we all do, that we’d have the next day to deal with it. I don’t know this to be the circumstances and I truly hope they weren’t, but what if they ended up being mine?

And not just with my husband, but the same is true for anyone I love—my sister, my mother, my best friends, my children. I need to start going to bed each night on a positive note with everyone, making sure they each know they are loved and important and special. If we have tomorrow, we can fight it out then. But tonight, and each night, we will go to bed with love.

Letting Go: Never Go to Bed Angry

Letting go of the anger doesn’t mean all is forgiven and the problem is solved. Like the quote says, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” So let the anger go before bed. Kiss your husband, hug your child, text your loved one that you love them. It’s as good for you as it is for them. And in the morning, should we be blessed with one to share, we can start to fix what went wrong.

I cannot ease the pain and suffering for my friend or for their children, but I can take the situation and make something beautiful come from it. From life’s biggest tragedies can come life’s most important lessons, and I have learned mine. I hope it is helpful to some of you.

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