True Life Anonymom Series- A Letter to My Husband’s Mistress


Dear “Other Woman,” 

I need to come to forgiveness, not for you, not for him, but for Me

I realize, my husband and I can not begin to rebuild our future without letting go of the past- the past you had with him. No matter how you try to justify it- it still was not the right thing. But, it happened, and with that knowledge, I am choosing to let go of the past.

Not to forget, but to forgive.

I know you live in fear of me reaching out to your husband, but don’t worry. I have no need to impact your marriage as much as you have mine. I chose this for my relationship’s future. The path of honesty that you choose for you and your spouse is your choice.

I did not get the choice of being in my situation, but I thank you. Without your part I would have kept going along. We could have kept doing things the way we always had. Blinders up, pretending our communication and our feelings were fine.


But, thanks to the situation- we were forced to step back and take a hard look at where we were and what lead us there. Why was there a need for this “other relationship?” We see it now.

I am not perfect, he is not perfect. We will never be, but what we will be one day is stronger than ever before. Having our vulnerabilities pointed out to us will allow us to fight harder! We were both taking our relationship for granted. That won’t happen again. We are now getting the help and getting the tools we didn’t know we were missing.

This is not just for marriage sake or out of selfishness, and definitely not just for our child. We LOVE each other in every part of the word’s meaning. We will show our child what love looks like and what respect and trust looks like. For this, I thank you.

I am not going to lie and pretend that any part of this has been easy. Yes, there were plenty of days spent in tears or completely overwhelmed by numbness, but I chose to push forward. There is more to us, more to life, and we will make it. We are learning! We are already learning and practicing, when things get tough “lean on each other, not outward.” We will be each other’s rock and let God fill in the rest.

I want you to know, I pray for you. I hope you find the strength to help yourself and cure what has been causing your part in this. Find help in curing your loneliness. I pray you can set a better example for your children. I also pray to heal your marriage and your heart.


His Wife

Originally Published on April 7, 2017


  1. I could have written this myself. It took some time, work, and a whole lot ofJesus to heal and rebuild us, but it’s been 9 years and we’re stronger than ever.

  2. Beautifully written. I have been down this road and although my marriage did not endure the trial, I had to forgive and let God heal me, I still pray for that “other woman”.


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