First-Time Mothers do not Want To Hear These 10 Things


 First-time mothers tend to receive a lot of judgmental comments and unsolicited advice about raising a child, especially from other mothers. Sometimes the comments and advice turn out to be useful, but other times they are just plain irritating.

As we can all agree, first-time mothers are challenged enough without having to worry about doing “it” right. Those little bundles of joy don’t come with instruction manuals, after all! So old and new mothers alike, sit back and enjoy this list of things first-time mothers do not want to hear. 

EVER. Please. Thank you. 

Your Child is Filthy!

  • If I had not been so sleep-deprived I would have said something like, “Why yes, he/she is! Thank you for noticing! Don’t worry though. I have baby wipes somewhere so he/she can have that snack while playing in the mud.” 😉

You Need to Discipline Your Child!

  • My son was a world champion at throwing intense tantrums in public. So I went with the “ignore him” approach. That brought about a lot of looks and comments from other mothers who seemed to think my approach was wrong. Well I am here to say that that boy is now a teenager, and he turned out pretty darn good. 

Your child still sucks on a pacifier (or takes a bottle, or breastfeeds)?

  • I must confess that I threw all of my son’s pacifiers and bottles out on his first birthday. I learned this was not such a great thing to do and did a much slower transition with my daughter. And the breastfeeding thing- so much judgment out there! Let’s be supportive to each other and stop judging!

Well Dr. Sears says you should…

  • Who is Dr. Sears? An old guy who had some good ideas, but most are no longer supported by current research. He was the “What to Expect When You Are Expecting- Infant Edition” of his day. 

There is something wrong with your child!

  • Show me the degree and the test scores and then we will talk…

My mother always told me to (insert miracle cure) to fix (one of the many problems).

  • Your mother’s childbearing practices might not be currently supported by modern pediatricians so feel free to tell me what you want me to know, but PLEASE don’t get upset if I don’t follow your advice. (They should make little cards with this word track for all new mothers at the hospital before they leave!)

Little (insert name of child) NEVER did (insert current, awful activity your child is doing).

  • This one is tricky. On the one hand you know she is not being truthful, but on the other hand it might be fun to let this one go and be entertained by the fake looks of disgust.

Back in my day we didn’t need (fill in the blank) to help us raise our children.

  • BUT if she had modern conveniences to help her would she have used them? I think so! And if The Wiggles or Barney kept my son happy while I took a 5 minute shower it was SO worth it!

That’s not how you are supposed to do it.

  • I can’t recall how many times I was told I was doing something wrong by another mother. Swaddling, burping, diaper changing…I was an undiscovered train wreck by their standards. Yet my kids survived. WHEW- so lucky!

And the proverbial “motherload” of all the things first-time mothers do not want to hear is…

Wow! (insert your child’s name) isn’t doing that yet?????  My child did (insert major developmental milestone) at (insert age much, much younger than your child’s age).

  • This one used to drive me crazy! My son never really crawled- he kind of shuffled on the floor. He didn’t try to pull up or walk until he was 14 months old. So as veteran mothers, let’s pay this one forward and spare the first-time mothers the agony on this one. We all know that every child is different and late-blooming happens. 
first-time mothers
This must be a new thing because my kids didn’t come with instruction manuals! 😉


Sound off in the comments! Which ones did I miss?

Melanie 🙂


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Melanie is the executive chef, maid and dispute resolution expert at Casa de Hughes. She and her husband have a daughter in elementary school and a son in high school. Trying to find things that appeal to both children, despite the 7 year age gap, keeps her on her toes! She enjoys "tweaking" recipes to make them a bit healthier, reading historical fiction novels, and writing short stories. She also enjoys running, though she isn’t very speedy. She is currently training for her first full marathon this October in Portland, Oregon. If she survives, she will likely write a blog about it! ;) She is also passionate about conservation, politics and social issues. In her free time she likes to hang out with her friend, and fellow SDMB blogger, Felicia. Not only are their daughters the best of friends, Melanie and Felicia share a common love for crafts, tea and couponing.



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