My Mid-Life Epiphany: The Tale of an Aspiring Marathoner

As I rounded the turn into mid-life I realized I was mortal. It just hit me one day. I was going to die. Not soon (at least I hoped not), but some day. This was deeper than mere acknowledgement of that undisputed fact. Death started to feel imminent but in a “I still have SOME time left” kind of way.

Many people refer to this phenomenon as a mid-life crisis, (though I prefer to call it a mid-life epiphany) and like many people entering their mid-life, I prepared a “bucket list.”

The usual things were on it, like backpacking through Europe, going to Canada, having lunch with Steve Martin, etc.

(WHAT? Canada isn’t on your bucket list too?)

At the top of that list was a challenge that seemed impossible to achieve without kicking the proverbial bucket in the process. The Marathon (AKA- 26.2 miles of sheer agony). Yes, in my mind, lunching with Steve Martin seemed more plausible than ever running a marathon.

Let me add that I am not a natural athlete. Exercise has always been grueling and unpleasant. I only started recreational running about 3 years ago when a friend talked me into a 5K run. It was the Hot Chocolate Run and I figured if I showed up and didn’t complain too much I’d at least get chocolate at the end! (Of course I was too sick from trying to run that I threw up and didn’t want to enjoy any of the chocolate offerings.)

Fast forward 3 years and here we are. I’m now 42 years old and my kids are growing up too fast. I am a stay at home mom and there are times during the day when I am restless. Frankly, I am ready for a challenge and a little bit of excitement in my life. I recently started going over that bucket list again.

My family and I spent some time in Canada over the summer. One down! But those stars…around the “BIG” ticket item…taunted me. Could I do it? Didn’t I just read about an 80 year old woman who ran a marathon? Weren’t all my friends signing up for marathons?

So, on a whim, I registered for the Portland Marathon on October 9, 2016. A friend agreed to do it with me, which made it more attainable. Seconds after the transaction processed, my stomach sank. OMG. What have I done? My first thought was to check the cancellation and transfer policy. My second thought was the fact that I hadn’t discussed it at all with my husband before I signed up. Little did he know he was going to have to make accommodations for my crazy running schedule. OMGG.

Of course there is something so satisfying about knowing that you are invested in a goal. Once I pay for something, I’m normally “all in,” but this was not just something. It was A MARATHON!!! Simply paying for this race was not going to be enough.

The excuses as to why I could simply not train enough started within a few days. I have family obligations. I am too old. My knees hurt. I am too fluffy. Thigh chafing is real.

In the midst of my self-doubt party I had an epiphany. I MAY NEVER HAVE THIS CHANCE AGAIN. That’s it. Profound in its simplicity, but so apropos. The excuses no longer became obstacles but rather challenges to work around. As long as my body was able my excuses were not going to stop me.

I’m over halfway through my training plan now and I just conquered my longest run ever- 16 consecutive miles. And you know what? Getting up at 4:45am sucks. Everything hurts after a 16 mile run. GU packets taste like dirt pudding. I am tired of my music playlist. I freaking hate foam rolling. I’m tired of wearing running clothes every single day. I constantly smell like Icy Hot. The sport bra is a modern form of a medieval torture device. There is a funk in my running clothes that hasn’t been identified yet.

Know what else?

I wouldn’t change a thing. (Well, maybe foam rolling. I really, REALLY hate foam rolling.)

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What’s on your bucket list? Post them in the comments below!